Friday, March 30, 2007

Welcoming the Gravy Train

Gravy train
n. Slang.

An occupation or other source of income that requires little effort while yielding considerable profit.

I guess that I'm a little curious about the gravy train. Does it look like the polar express, or does it more resemble the LIRR? Is it like the new N train that everyone in Queens calls the "unicorn" due to the fact that you only see it on magical occasions? Does it smell good?

I've had little exposure to this phenomenon growing up, but caught glimpses of it during "What I did this summer" stories in English class in the 6th grade. "Me and my parents went to Ireland" "Me and my parents went to our house in California". Mine was more like, "Me and my three siblings sat in the house all day. We went to Wal Mart sometimes." Okay, poor me, wah wah. The truth is, it didn't bother me so much. I kind of enjoyed getting on my oldest sister's nerves and threatening my younger brother with knives. When I got bored I dressed up like the chicks on MTV and me and my friends sang along to "This is How We Do It". We prank called the guys in my class. Life was simple.

But alas, people grow up and they move to New York, the capital capital of the world. And they decide they don't want to be an actor anymore so they get a grown up job so that they can afford a laptop and printer to write plays at night. And being able to answer the work telephone well turns into doing other things well that weren't in the original blueprint of your life. Other opportunities rear their heads and before you know it, crap. You start thinking like the yups. "How much money can I make doing this job? Hmmm..."

So you put on your Christmas shoes and board the gravy train.

This is not entirely accurate, actually. Gravy Train insinuates that you're somehow getting money the easy way, and my my work has not been easy. At all.
Again, wah, poor me.

The point is, I've located the gravy train. (It's not as easy as everyone says it is, but it's there). And I'm scared of it. I feel like I've worked for it but that I don't deserve it. I'm scared to talk about it. I'm scared to smell the air. I'm scared to look around. I'm even scared of these Christmas shoes.

Why does comfort make me so uncomfortable?



6 comments:

JasonBSchmidt said...

First of all, you are a great blogger.

Second, deserve scmeserve. Get it, got it, use it, love it.

Third, according to my mother, when I was a kid and didn't want to clean, she would say "well, what are you going to do when you're a grown up and you have your own apartment?" My response? (eye-roll) "Mom, I'm going to hire someone to do that, god." So, do you want the number of my cleaning lady Marbel? She's amazing.

Fourth, come back to the coach cabin and visit Darladiva and I once in a while. We want to hear how the gravy is different in first class.

:)

Darla said...

Amen to what Doodle said...all of it.

I told my parents when I was 17 or so, going into college: "I will do what I want, but I will always be ok. Money or not, you have to trust that I will always be ok."

Somehow, I was right, and now they do trust me....cause going from $11 hourly, ramen dinners, and massive credit debt to...well...a LOT more $ with a cute lil' 401k something called a "bonus," and lunches at Haru (with Doodle, ooh you can join us soon!) is nothing short of amazing.

I'm proud of you. You deserve the world. I'm so glad you're getting it.

GMEyster said...

Not long ago I was talking to my friend Sarah about priorities changing. And how it's ok. Life evolves and the same things that used to work for me in the beginninng don't always pan out now. Or I no longer wish to pursue them, or deal with them (ie open cattle calls - I only go when I REALLY want to, where I used to plan my whole life around them).

You slap on those Christmas shoes and you rear back and RIDE that gravy train, girl. You show it who's boss, and just keep this in mind: if it's not the train that's going to your destination, you can always get off and reboard another at the next stop. There are SO many trains.

Bobby said...

Come on ride the train, ride it!!! WHoot-Whoot!!!

Alice in Wonderland said...

Okay...I'm reading this post kind of late...but being afraid of this so-called "gravy train" is normal. The great thing is, you will never lose that fresh perspective that you are so afraid of losing. I think of how determined and focused you are, and you obviously do DESERVE everything you've worked for, otherwise you wouldn't have it right in front of you for the taking....
I still believe money is all relative in the end, maybe because I am drawn to money-starving professions, whatever the reason- what i'm saying is, if that's the truth - then ride the gravy train if that's what there's for you. I don't think you are the type that will let it take over your life (and I think that's a natural fear). Yes, you may become indifferent to some people in your life...maybe certain people will feel you've changed...but who cares? The truth remains in the end: your sense of self. That's what's important. If that remains in tact with your place in this world...you've got in made!
You should write a short story or something. I love the way you write by the way...damn you.

Alice in Wonderland said...

I also wanted to say, Adelphi did instill something in me that relates to what you are talking about here...it's what I wrote my Hunter application essay about...I've told you this...
Crazy Brian Rose - who was full of quotes and things, even in the midst of the most inappropriate moments, said "Your dreams take shape to your life" - in response to a question about why he became a professor if he was such a great actor? Hah. It's funny to think about now. But like Gwen said, priorities do change, and that's fine....but it is scary.
But I believe life should be a bit scary. We don't take enough risks in this life...and that's the problem with a lot of adults....we have to trust that when we fall something or someone will catch us.