Something to do now that I'm single

Today may be the most boring day of my life.

I'm at work, which is usually incredibly busy but today it is not. Since I'm a creature of habit I'm fiending for something to make me stressed out and or want to choke someone with my bare hands. Insert winning smile here.

I have a random thought about greiving a break up:
Eeerily similar to the stomach flu. Consistent waves of bile for the first phase, inconsistent waves of bile for the second phase. And then your palate graduates from saltines and water to more familiar forms of solid food. It's comforting to know that in this world of no absolutes, you will always eventually want solid food again.

I'm so bored that if faced with a bottle of Whiskey and a glass, I would drink it even though I think Whiskey looks, smells, and tastes like piss.

Tomorrow is my 27th birthday. I'm ecstatic to say goodbye to 26 because 26 was a lot of work. I do feel like a bit of a cougar now that I am a single girl, but my coworkers have assured me that a cougar is 40+, not 27. I'm thankful for this helpful peice of advice. A friend of mine even said he knows the age is 40 for a fact because his friends are exclusiveley into cougars and it makes him "puke in his own mouth". That made me happy.

Blogging makes me feel like I should be giving you some useful peice of information. Like I should be rating technology so you can google obscure products and receive reliable opinions from me. Instead I'm filling your head with nonsense. I feel a little guilty about this so I'm going to give you some useful information. Stamps just went up to 42 cents. That's right. I wish I had read that somewhere before I mailed a bunch of stuff with the old stamps.

Well, I need to kill 45 more minutes so I'm going to find something else to do.

Best to you all.