Friday, August 24, 2007

Next time I'm laying off the Bellinis

Why do I do it to myself.

I know the way it's going to pan out. Last night, I stared in the bathroom mirror at the bar and realized that I was noticeably swaying. Did I stop? No. Instead I just switched to beer. Five beers later I woke up to my 7am alarm pulsating inside my eyeballs. I have no idea how in the hell I got to work, only that I got here early and I started the day with three vomit false alarms. It's now 3:30 pm and there's still toxic sludge slapping the inside walls of my face, only this time it comes in gentler waves. I'm disgusting.

The good news is that it was a company happy hour so most of my co-workers are in a similar condition (or so I tell myself). The difference between me and my coworkers is that they can drink and I can't. Two beers makes for a short night when everyone else is tasting eachother's coconut martinis. So every now and then I try to fit in with the big kids and drink like a 26 year old woman instead of a small hamster, like I'm used to. I'm never successful. I had 3 Bellinis and 5 beers last night. Usually by beer number 3 I've got my cab money ready, but I held on. Oh, I held on until around 11:30 (that's right - one one three zero). After a short skirmish with a cabbie, I stumbled into my apartment to call back my boyfriend who had been trying to reach me. I was clueless to the fact that he had experienced one of those policeman "bad feelings" about me and after calling, texting, and finding my apartment empty at an hour when I'd usually be sleeping, reasoned that I was dead or maimed. He interrogated me about when I saw his text and informed me that "something didn't sound right". Well nothing sounded right to me, I was shitfaced. Explaining this only got him more upset, so we hung up and I went to bed. He is still pissed off.

Needless to say, I've been in digestive hell all day, and am stil being visited by small waves of nausea.

I've said this before and I'll say it again, if you see me with a Bellini please ask me politely to put it down. I realize that you don't know me and don't know what I look like, but if you see a girl that looks like how I sound, please go out on that limb and ask her. If it's not me, you might get a bitchy retort (just ignore it), BUT if it is me, I'll give you my Bellini or I'll buy you one of your own. I promise. We'll shake hands. We'll be friends. It will be beautiful.

3 comments:

Darla said...

mmm bellini...i mean, no! bad bellini! leave Niwa alone!

i think your skin tone was slightly grey that day. not good. lol.

Alice in Wonderland said...

you are amongst friends who are lightweights (me, myself, and I to name a few..) Have your bellini, then say "water please". That's become my mantra. This is a waaaay delayed comment...but don't beat yourself up over it. your co-, workers party hard, man

love you and miss you

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